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Manifest Your Dreams Into Reality

Published by Autumn Brooke on February 16, 2017

 

Is this Fact or Fiction….  That is the Question?  I post a lot about Inspiration and Motivation, as I do believe that We Reap what We Sow.  I also think that it is important to keep positive influences in your life to maintain a healthy attitude, this means all that you encounter on a daily basis from people, to music, and movies.  Outside attractions affect how we speak and how we think so it is important to me to do my best to hold myself accountable as a positive role model for my children by how I behave.  A few days ago I was reviewing a Travel Blog and it said to put up a picture of your dream destination to visit or live.  Intrigued as I had just finished fantasizing about taking a Costco Vacation after flipping through their travel brochure, I read further in the blog……. it was recommended to not just post up a picture to admire, but to actually close your eyes and imagine yourself there, to take a step further and look up the cost of tickets and choose a date on the calendar that you would travel.  I was no longer interested in continuing in my reading of this travel blog, because I did not like the idea of making plans that I could never keep.  At least not at this stage of my life.  I moved on with my day, but did keep the Costco Travel Picture.  Then today I (accidentally) found myself listening to a Pod Cast that ended up being a Motivational Speaker that said “Close Your Eyes and Manifest Your Dreams Into Reality” and I am pretty sure I may have rolled my eyes, instead of closing them.  Who did they think that I was…..  Dorthy from the Wizard of OZ?   I was beginning to think that I just needed to find a pair of sparkling red magic shoes and I could click my heels three times and go wherever my heart desired.

I spent my afternoon struggling with this concept.  I felt like I was not accomplishing my daily pursuit of achieving my dreams.  I was lacking in my abilities to be a product of my thoughts, I was failing to Believe in my Dream.  I had to re-evaluate.  But wait….  what was I going to re-evaluate?  I knew exactly what I was doing, and where I was going.  I had made a goal, that was a journey, but as long as I kept moving forward and didn’t let anything hold me back then I was going to accomplish my goal.  I am so close now, I can almost taste it.  My goal for my life, may or may not allow my dream vacation but that will just mean that I need to set a new goal and I am okay with that fact.  I do believe in manifestation, and that you first have to have the willingness and desire if you wish to change your life, but I also believe that all people are different.   I am not a person that needs a physical dream board, and I am so analytical that I am overly practical, which is why I rolled my eyes at closing my eyes or making up a ‘fake vacation package.’  However, these tactics work great for other people and that is great.  This great realization brought up another concept that I needed to evaluate, that of changing your dream or goal because of life circumstance.  As we grow and adapt to new responsibilities sometimes our dreams change or take longer for us to achieve, but that doesn’t stop the Dream or the Belief.  The important thing to remember is to Believe in Yourself, Believe in the Impossible.

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Love Trumps Hate

Published by Autumn Brooke on January 21, 2017

Let me begin by saying this is NOT a political post despite the way that it looks.  The Inauguration is just the topic of the day, no matter where you look.  My children even came home from school having watched it for an hour or two in their classrooms.  I thought about what I might discuss with them about such an important day in history but unsure of my standpoint on a political level.  My social news feed was crowded with videos of RIOTS for those that were against our new President mostly due to issues on RACE.  This was not a topic I wanted around our dinner table.  What would I say?  These people have a RIGHT to their opinion and to let their voice be heard, but they are wrong to RIOT and cause violence all because of RESENTMENT, RETALIATION, and RETRIBUTION.  These R’s are what seem to be the REASON for so much anger and animosity in our world, not just in regard to politics, but in many areas of our life.  The world seems to be full of people not choosing to forgive, understand, or accept change.  And that is really what it is all about.  CHANGE!  A difficult word for most, certainly hard to accept if one does not initiate it for themselves because it means an unwanted change in circumstance. I teach my children that acceptance is key.  We cannot always get what we want in this life and the sooner we learn to live with it the better.  So, LOVE TRUMPS HATE…. that is the statement of the Day.  It is everywhere today and on both sides.  It is True, as most would choose Love over Hate, my Grandma would say “You can catch more flies with honey, then with vinegar”.  Now I know what I will talk about at the dinner table tonight, as I do not want to raise my children to have serious Entitlement Issues.  What the Military taught me, what they have been teaching for years.  Actually, I think it has just become old school, somewhere along the way we got too soft.    My words for my kids, in any walk of life…. when you cannot change the situation and are forced to accept it, Just Grow Up and Get Over It!

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Parents Need a Time Out

Published by Autumn Brooke on January 19, 2017

I overwhelmed myself today as I contemplated what I should blog about.  The possibilities were endless and it was hard for me to focus on one topic long enough to wrap my head around a central idea, that’s when it hit me….. I was just complaining to a friend of mine about my lack of focus about life in general.  I came home yesterday after retrieving kids from school and was just lost in a state of melancholy.  It was so noticeable that my oldest son even asked what was wrong, but I had no true answer for him.  I wasn’t sad, nor grumpy, I just was and couldn’t shake it.  As the night continued with the regular daily motherly chores of checking homework, laundry, and dinner; I did my best to not share my mood.  However, as I served myself last of a painstakingly long and in-depth dinner, I took my first bite to find it delicious but already cold.  I warmed up my plate but it was too late.  I just couldn’t eat.  I realized why I was so out of sorts and knew that it was no ones fault but my own.  Mommy needed a Time Out!

Yes, as parents one of the first and most common pieces of advice that you here is “Take time for yourself.”  “Don’t feel guilty about needing a break from your kids.”  “Me Time will essentially make you a better parent to your child.”  All True!  I had just let life get so busy and complicated that I had not scheduled that all important Time Out.  I had the wine, the longer shower, even the piece of chocolate while watching a new Prime TV series, all things that help me decompress and re-energize, but not this time.  I still felt off.

It was not until the conversation with a friend that we realized together what was missing…… I needed GROWN UP time.  For me this equates to No Children present and actual adult conversation.  This means that I had to actually go out and socialize with other adults.  Being a single mom to 4 and making my living as a writer, I don’t tend to interact in the real world as often as I should and I was seriously lacking in the Fun department.

I am betting that we are all guilty of this far too often and I am here to say “Stop whatever you are doing and make a plan to make a date with your significant other or a group of friends.”  Don’t let yourself become so busy that you miss out on your life too.  One day these little people that control our whole world will be grown and gone.  So busy with their friends that they will forget to call home and you will have lost contact with  your own friends.  We need adult interaction, we need to connect with those people in our lives that keep us sane and give us joy.  It doesn’t need to be long or expensive, just a cup of coffee or walk will do.  Time to talk, engage with no social media or distractions, time to focus on all or nothing.  And, if like me, you took that time to feel better about yourself then repay the favor by finding another parent that may need help with child care so they too can take their Parent Time Out!  We are all in this together and we need to support each other in this most important mission of our life…. Parenting!

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Butterfly Beauty

Published by Autumn Brooke on January 12, 2017

Butterfly Beauty….. Delicate Strength….. These are the words that surround this post.  What isn’t there to love about a butterfly?  They flutter with an almost majestic presence yet are silent in nature.  It is their unassuming existence that actually catches your attention before one sees the glorious coloring of their wings.  Even those without bright color have a depth of shading that is beautiful in its own right.  Yet, upon further investigation these wings may appear nearly translucent by the sun, showing the intricate details of their delicate exoskeleton.  It is the realization that these creatures have an undeniable strength within themselves that makes them so undeniably breathtaking.

Upon even further study, it is not only that a butterfly can fly up to 3,000 miles to reach their destination with little rest, or that their life spans are short, only serving as a mating process to release more butterflies to the earth but their journey in this process that fascinates me.  They live in a series of 4 life cycles, gaining strength throughout each phase.  From a human perspective it should be noted that these life phases are all completed alone, total isolation after emerging from their egg.

Locked in a chrysalis, surrounded by total darkness, a butterfly must use their wings to set themselves free by breaking the barrier that held them within a self-made prison.  Their wings are crumpled and wet once emerged but the struggle served to strengthen their wings, preparing them for flight.  At times a witness may have observed the struggle of the butterfly.  The desperation apparent as the butterfly worked its way through, but had they stepped up to help the butterfly, they would have only weakened its wings.

So… in reflection of the strength in the delicate beauty that encompasses a butterfly we learn that their power comes from the fight that they are forced to face alone on their personal life journey.  They encounter more in their life then most of us can even imagine but they overcome in a feat of pure courage, to grace the world with their beauty and strength.  I leave you with the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson; “Believe in yourself, our strength grows out of our weakness.”

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Mother’s are Human Too

Published by Autumn Brooke on April 22, 2016

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I have had these thoughts running through my head for a few days now and after a very vivid dream with my mother last night, I decided that it must be time for me to write it down.  I was debating on blogging because just the title mother and knowing that I am a single mom of four, makes me think no one is going to want to log in to read, imagining that this will be one more of those blogs where a mother is complaining about motherhood or bragging about her children.  I dread when those cross my path so let me begin by saying that is not my intention with this post.  I honestly don’t know how this will turn out by the end, but my blog serves to be the “words from heart, mind, and soul” so here are my thoughts.

I have been witnessing a lot of judgement surrounding mothers lately and I have been doing my best to not only stay clear of it but to not stand in judgement.  Practicing “Let those without sin cast the first stone.”  That is not to say that I am in support of some of the actions I have seen or heard rumored but as I wondered if some of the stories were true, I had to remind myself that I have had more then my fair share of “Bad Mommy” days.

We all know that being a mother is said to be the hardest, most thankless, yet most rewarding job.  Maybe that is true but I know that I do NOT feel that way when I am having a hard day.  I have wanted to send my children off or take my own self on an adult only vacation.  In these moments I know that we are not always the best parents to our children and feel that all to familiar “mother guilt” about our behavior later.

I guess what I am saying is that we all make mistakes, but once we realize them we need to seek forgiveness and challenge ourselves to do better.  For those that are on a path of redemption need not be judged but supported.  Their actions are not to be condoned, nor should we enable their behavior, hold them accountable by human morality and standards, but be prepared to cut off communication and association if they don’t find fault with in themselves.

It is our first job to protect our children and raise them to be productive members of society.  We do this by being the best ‘you’ that you can be, knowing that your being mirrored.  Let your life, your words inspire others to want to be like you.  Never quit striving to be better, just remember it is okay to falter, as long as you seek amends and do better next time.  Mother, Father, it doesn’t matter……. we are all only human.

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Loss & Gain

Published by Autumn Brooke on April 12, 2016

It has been a strange last few days for me.  So enlightening, in fact, that I have come to realize that it has been an odd last few years.  I’ve really come to think about all that I have lost and gained in the last few years as my marriage came to an end, my first home that I bought and built from the ground up was lost to me, as was my mother…. There are many more losses.  I only mention those because they are like a rite of passage as we grow up.  There are expectations placed upon us of “who” and “where” you are supposed to be by a certain age, and I followed all the rules, yet here I am, having met said goals, but losing them along the way.  It may not be so bad if people didn’t remind me all the time that I am not “getting any younger.”  Or my favorite is “you should be settled by now” like I intended to be in this position at this stage of my life.  I generally take most of it in stride, but there is always those few moments that slap us in the face that remind you that you are “FAILING” as an Adult.  Today that was TAX Day, I got to go in and file my taxes which have not been fun in the last few years, only to be reminded of where I should be, or where I was, or that maybe, next year, will be better.  Tax Preparers, People, who don’t know anything about you, but they are reading the intimate details of your financial well-being, meaning they probably know you better than some of your closest friends or family.  There is a look of judgement or sorrow as they gaze across the desk at you, hopefully doing their best to keep you from paying in on debts that never should have happened. 

It is on these days that the brave façade crumbles and maybe you cry into your wine or break down in tears as your head touches the pillow.  Or you could be me, just can’t sleep and decide to blog before the sun comes up, knowing that you have a full schedule to complete for the day and in two hours it will be time to start another day of doing the best you can.  Sometimes on these breaking days we are fortunate to have a friend to tell you that you are amazing and it will all get better.  To listen while you vent and understand that you just need someone to “hear” you.  Other times you vent only to be rebuked and judged for these “weak” moments. 

Life isn’t fair!  A statement I have heard, said, repeated a multitude of times.  I understand and respect it.  Which will bring me back to my first paragraph where I said I was evaluating my losses and my gains.  The losses hurt, I do cry like a little girl when I am overwhelmed.  I also am known to feel sorry for myself, need copious amounts of attention, and feel extremely sensitive.   This comes following a day that I am praised by a few, even my own son, the teenager, for being the strongest woman he knows, mentally and physically.  This is why I refer to loss and gain, a roller coaster of emotions in the last year especially.  As this may have been the most difficult time of my life, up to date, it has also held some of my highest moments.  Becoming a mother was amazing, but being a mother to a son that you can have a grown up conversation with and see the man you are raising, is even more amazing.  Knowing that after the onset of tears, stress, and struggle you rise up to solve the problem is a rush of gratitude and independence.  The pure joy of abandoned laughter unknown in previous years is such a blessing.  These are gains that I wouldn’t have experienced the same or as fully if it wasn’t for the pain of the losses. 

I am not unique, everyone has their own series of loss and gain, also causing their own joy and pain.  If we can come together in this and stop the judgement and condemnation we can support one another.  Maybe make that really hard day a little bit easier for someone.  I believe that most of us are doing are best, we may need some help now and again, even if just a word of encouragement.  They say “It takes a village to raise a child.”  I don’t think that stops when we are grown.  As we raise the children with the village, do we really ever stop raising ourselves?  Age is a number, I am still growing and learning every day.  I make mistakes, I may act like a child at times, but I get stronger and smarter along the way. 

 

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Let your voice be heard….

Published by Autumn Brooke on March 2, 2016

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I definitely identify with this quote.  I believe it is typically the source of my “writers block.”  I can be on a roll and writing to my hearts desire when I take a break and the doubt sets in.  The “No one wants to read this” is certainly one that hits me on a daily basis, it is quickly followed by the “What makes you think that you are good enough to be a writer.”  It takes some serious soul searching and strict pep talk to get me back on task.  One of the reasons I actually have this Blog is so that I am forced to share my writing with the world.  I have to fight through my denial and understand that I won’t please everyone, and certainly can’t expect that all will be a fan or even enjoy my writing.  I have been fortunate that I have not ran in to too many critiques or negative criticism, but my blog is in no way inundated with hundreds of followers.  As my tagline reads, I write words from my heart, mind, and soul – for me this essentially means that what you read is what I am feeling at the moment.  This is not always personally related.  More often, then not it is simply because I read about a topic or know someone else that may be able to benefit from my words and I hope to reach more then one.  I understand that my blog posts are not written for the masses but for those that support me personally or the few that do enjoy my writing, or even my point of view.

I have a goal, and that goal is to be formally published.  I long to write that ‘Great American Novel’ but because I live in the “real world,” I will settle for a publisher, agent, and to have people read my book.   I stand firm in the belief that even the unlikely is possible.  I will always believe that those that follow their dreams are braver than most.  So, how do I relate a writing post to those few that bother to read my blog, I think that we all have that inner voice.  That doubtful inner voice that makes us doubt ourselves forcing us to give up on our dreams.  Don’t let that happen to you!  You can do whatever you set your mind to do, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.  We all have a story to tell, I will support you as you  tell yours, whatever it may be.  Everyone has a purpose and only you know what your purpose is in this world.

#standstrong, #livelikeyoumeanit, #beinspiredtoinspire, #letyourvoicebeheard

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Illusional Perspective

Published by Autumn Brooke on February 12, 2016

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We interpret the world between shadow and color, an imperfect view of the world based on past experience, proven true only by the illusion of art.  When we view an image we tend to lose the reality of the picture, because our previous experience has taught us that what we see is false.  However, that viewpoint is mistaken; our brain makes assumptions based on features of our previous environment.  If we mentally over compensate for illusions our eyes see, then what are the options for our future?  Our perspective is so skewed that we start to determine within ourselves a non-existent reality. Essentially, we have not only created a non-reality, but we are tormented by invisible drama that is based upon irrational compensation.  We are a product of our environment.  We determine our path of destination.  Our mental mindset and vision of peace is our own.  So, go and make your own happiness; the viewpoint is all within your own perspective. 

Make it Your’s!

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Love over 35

Published by Autumn Brooke on February 2, 2016

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Yesterday I wrote a Facebook post that many of you probably never saw because I only had it up for one hour.  I don’t try to maintain a strictly professional image on my social media but I do try to keep the truly personal at a minimum.  The post was about a comment that was said to me in a conversation,  that people after the age of 35 lose their chance at finding “someone.”  I will leave the idea of a “someone” subjective as it can be a life partner, a spouse, a friend, a true love, the details were not discussed, but it was in relation to being with “someone” until the end, a person that will love you unconditionally.

The fact that my friend thought that age could keep this from happening blew me away.  He didn’t even relate it specifically to women, he felt that the chances decreased for men too.  I immediately took to Facebook to post the question and hear the opinion of the people.  To my chagrin, he was not the only one to feel that way.  I was shocked, although it was other men under the age of 35 that thought the age of a woman did play a big factor in making her worthy of love.

I worried that people would think I was fishing for compliments or looking for dates when I posted, and I said so as much in my post.  Stating the conversation and question, I related that I was 40 years old and the single mother to 4 children that are still young, elementary school age even.  Most people, men and women, near my age posted that the statement was crazy.  Age didn’t matter when it came to love, and it was inner beauty that mattered.  A few of the younger men did state that a ‘mature’ woman needed to bring a lot to the table in order for a man to consider her over a younger woman.

What surprised me was that no matter the positive or negative response, they all still mentioned beauty.  I am not naive, I know that we are all attracted to pretty things, and the younger generation is beautiful with their good skin, tightened muscles, but when did we stop seeing beauty in those with a few years behind them?  I honestly thought the world had moved past this, especially with the rate of divorce in the country, and so many people beginning again after middle age.

I don’t see myself as old, I don’t see myself as ugly nor beautiful.  I don’t lack for male attention and that is both younger and older.  I do worry about still having young children at home that still need to be raised so I come as a package, not just for myself.  However, that is only a small concern to me as I would expect any one I bothered to spend time with already be accepting of the family life.  My issue is that I want to be respected, measured as an equal, and loved for my talent and personality.  To me, if you have all of those things then you are automatically beautiful in that “someone’s” eyes.

We all have a type, but if you are stuck on that. then you may just pass your soulmate by because they are NOT the right race, height, size that you think you need, and apparently age is also a part of that.  I do believe that there needs to be a physical attraction but I believe that can grow by a mental connection.  If there is chemistry then there is a connection that you can build off of.  Love is freely given, or it should be, but it is not automatic and must be worked on, a seed that once planted must be nurtured in order to grow.

I have faith, faith that when the time is right that I will find the “someone” that will love me for me, not despite age, size, height, or color but because of them.  They will see me inside out and I will do the same with them.  Learn to grow together, explore, learn, challenge one another.  Life is a myriad of unforeseen circumstances, that are multiple opportunities, that will bring out the best in you, if only you allow it.

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Rainy Days

Published by Autumn Brooke on November 2, 2015

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I woke up to the sound of rain and snuggled further under my covers, reminiscing about the simple pleasure of lazy, rainy, days.  Enjoying the cooler weather, the sound of rain hitting the window panes, curled up with a warm drink, cozy blanket, and a great book or movie.  However that was not to be on my agenda for the day because the boys did not have school and were already beginning to make sounds of boredom and hunger.  Breakfast solved the hunger pains and created a false sense of quiet, that I quickly took advantage of as I made my way to the patio with a cup of coffee to enjoy the much needed rain in the Central Valley.  The tracking device installed in every mother alerting her offspring that she is currently enjoying alone time brought the children outdoors, but I did not mind the interruption of peace as I saw the awe in their face as I granted permission for them to play in the rain.  The youngest ran to tell his older brothers to come jump in the puddles, which they did with such abandonment and delight, I was envious.  Reminded me of days past and the joy in the simple life.  They did not need TV or video games to be occupied, they played for an hour with one another, using their imagination to make up games.  The six year old even mentioned how the rain was good for California because we were in a drought, and how he had missed the rain, serving to restore my faith that he is being well educated.  A few minutes later, however, he came to tell me how the homeless were all able to get free showers today if they had some soap.  All are inside now but still playing well with each other, as I contemplate what soup or stew I should make on this rare rainy day, and thanking God for reminding me that some days we all just need to Dance in the Rain with the innocence of a child.  And just to keep it ‘Real,’ I currently  hear the discussion of what video game should be played happening in the playroom, which means an argument will soon ensue as one or two don’t get their way, and the tattle tales begin with that old faithful call of “Mom….. they won’t let me Play……”

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