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Month: January 2017

Still Waters Run Deep

“Don’t Judge a Book by Its Cover”, “More than Meets the Eye”, “Never Assume”, we can go on and on with platitudes about not judging everything at face value, but most of us still do it.  We are so self-involved anymore that we never look past the surface, making split decisions about a person and their character.  What happened to the benefit of the doubt?  What happened to actually taking the time to get to know someone?  I can’t blame the social media, in some ways I think that we can often learn more than we want about a person because of their openness or stupidity of what they post to the public.  I honestly believe that it is more related to our own self-indulgence about ourselves.  Do we want to take the time to get involved with the Who and Why that person acts or thinks a certain way?  Probably not.  We ignore the signs, close down the opportunity and let that person retreat back into the safe identity that we have pigeon holed them into.  In many ways, this could be why there is so much cyber bullying, which is not where I was going with this spiel, but it makes sense.  If a person is relentlessly teased about an oddity they will hide within themselves, afraid to defend or explain.  It becomes too much for another to seek out the reason for the ridicule, the concept of “getting to know someone” is so foreign a task that it is no longer second nature.  If someone does try to really develop a deeper friendship or understanding of who you are, do you not feel that they are too intrusive, almost rude?  Accusations of being bold, forward, even dauntless in their pursuit to get to know you.

It is time to open ourselves up to let others in a little more, and it is definitely time to seek a deeper connection to other people in our lives.  The Why is simple….  It is because if we don’t, it may be too late.  What is your impact in the world?  Have you made a difference?  How will you be remembered?  Let people see your true colors, the inner beauty that makes you so unique.  Use the reflection of their interest in your life to shine past the dark waters to the depth of your soul.  The light will pass as inspiration to others for eternity, never to be dim again.

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Love Trumps Hate

Let me begin by saying this is NOT a political post despite the way that it looks.  The Inauguration is just the topic of the day, no matter where you look.  My children even came home from school having watched it for an hour or two in their classrooms.  I thought about what I might discuss with them about such an important day in history but unsure of my standpoint on a political level.  My social news feed was crowded with videos of RIOTS for those that were against our new President mostly due to issues on RACE.  This was not a topic I wanted around our dinner table.  What would I say?  These people have a RIGHT to their opinion and to let their voice be heard, but they are wrong to RIOT and cause violence all because of RESENTMENT, RETALIATION, and RETRIBUTION.  These R’s are what seem to be the REASON for so much anger and animosity in our world, not just in regard to politics, but in many areas of our life.  The world seems to be full of people not choosing to forgive, understand, or accept change.  And that is really what it is all about.  CHANGE!  A difficult word for most, certainly hard to accept if one does not initiate it for themselves because it means an unwanted change in circumstance. I teach my children that acceptance is key.  We cannot always get what we want in this life and the sooner we learn to live with it the better.  So, LOVE TRUMPS HATE…. that is the statement of the Day.  It is everywhere today and on both sides.  It is True, as most would choose Love over Hate, my Grandma would say “You can catch more flies with honey, then with vinegar”.  Now I know what I will talk about at the dinner table tonight, as I do not want to raise my children to have serious Entitlement Issues.  What the Military taught me, what they have been teaching for years.  Actually, I think it has just become old school, somewhere along the way we got too soft.    My words for my kids, in any walk of life…. when you cannot change the situation and are forced to accept it, Just Grow Up and Get Over It!

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Parents Need a Time Out

I overwhelmed myself today as I contemplated what I should blog about.  The possibilities were endless and it was hard for me to focus on one topic long enough to wrap my head around a central idea, that’s when it hit me….. I was just complaining to a friend of mine about my lack of focus about life in general.  I came home yesterday after retrieving kids from school and was just lost in a state of melancholy.  It was so noticeable that my oldest son even asked what was wrong, but I had no true answer for him.  I wasn’t sad, nor grumpy, I just was and couldn’t shake it.  As the night continued with the regular daily motherly chores of checking homework, laundry, and dinner; I did my best to not share my mood.  However, as I served myself last of a painstakingly long and in-depth dinner, I took my first bite to find it delicious but already cold.  I warmed up my plate but it was too late.  I just couldn’t eat.  I realized why I was so out of sorts and knew that it was no ones fault but my own.  Mommy needed a Time Out!

Yes, as parents one of the first and most common pieces of advice that you here is “Take time for yourself.”  “Don’t feel guilty about needing a break from your kids.”  “Me Time will essentially make you a better parent to your child.”  All True!  I had just let life get so busy and complicated that I had not scheduled that all important Time Out.  I had the wine, the longer shower, even the piece of chocolate while watching a new Prime TV series, all things that help me decompress and re-energize, but not this time.  I still felt off.

It was not until the conversation with a friend that we realized together what was missing…… I needed GROWN UP time.  For me this equates to No Children present and actual adult conversation.  This means that I had to actually go out and socialize with other adults.  Being a single mom to 4 and making my living as a writer, I don’t tend to interact in the real world as often as I should and I was seriously lacking in the Fun department.

I am betting that we are all guilty of this far too often and I am here to say “Stop whatever you are doing and make a plan to make a date with your significant other or a group of friends.”  Don’t let yourself become so busy that you miss out on your life too.  One day these little people that control our whole world will be grown and gone.  So busy with their friends that they will forget to call home and you will have lost contact with  your own friends.  We need adult interaction, we need to connect with those people in our lives that keep us sane and give us joy.  It doesn’t need to be long or expensive, just a cup of coffee or walk will do.  Time to talk, engage with no social media or distractions, time to focus on all or nothing.  And, if like me, you took that time to feel better about yourself then repay the favor by finding another parent that may need help with child care so they too can take their Parent Time Out!  We are all in this together and we need to support each other in this most important mission of our life…. Parenting!

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Butterfly Beauty

Butterfly Beauty….. Delicate Strength….. These are the words that surround this post.  What isn’t there to love about a butterfly?  They flutter with an almost majestic presence yet are silent in nature.  It is their unassuming existence that actually catches your attention before one sees the glorious coloring of their wings.  Even those without bright color have a depth of shading that is beautiful in its own right.  Yet, upon further investigation these wings may appear nearly translucent by the sun, showing the intricate details of their delicate exoskeleton.  It is the realization that these creatures have an undeniable strength within themselves that makes them so undeniably breathtaking.

Upon even further study, it is not only that a butterfly can fly up to 3,000 miles to reach their destination with little rest, or that their life spans are short, only serving as a mating process to release more butterflies to the earth but their journey in this process that fascinates me.  They live in a series of 4 life cycles, gaining strength throughout each phase.  From a human perspective it should be noted that these life phases are all completed alone, total isolation after emerging from their egg.

Locked in a chrysalis, surrounded by total darkness, a butterfly must use their wings to set themselves free by breaking the barrier that held them within a self-made prison.  Their wings are crumpled and wet once emerged but the struggle served to strengthen their wings, preparing them for flight.  At times a witness may have observed the struggle of the butterfly.  The desperation apparent as the butterfly worked its way through, but had they stepped up to help the butterfly, they would have only weakened its wings.

So… in reflection of the strength in the delicate beauty that encompasses a butterfly we learn that their power comes from the fight that they are forced to face alone on their personal life journey.  They encounter more in their life then most of us can even imagine but they overcome in a feat of pure courage, to grace the world with their beauty and strength.  I leave you with the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson; “Believe in yourself, our strength grows out of our weakness.”

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Dedication, Consistency, Restoration

Happy 2017!  I have never been a fan of New Year’s Resolutions, choosing instead to constantly push myself towards the positive which ultimately means changes occur within my life all year long.  One of those, I am dedicating to the New Year and that is stated within the above picture.  I am committing myself to posting a new blog each and every Wednesday.  This may not seem like much of a challenge to many of you, but I posted in July of 2015, titled Worst Blogger Ever, because I recognized that consistently writing on the blog is difficult for me.  It is not that I don’t write, or have anything to say, it is simply taking the time to make it worthy for my readers.  I struggle with knowing that the content that I put out is intriguing enough to be shared.  

I made a personal choice this Holiday Season as I sat down and evaluated what changes I need to make within my personal and business life so that I truly can #BeInspiredToInspire.  I realized that I was finding myself in a rut.  I have been focused on the novel, turn screenplay, Brides Aweigh and in order not to distract myself from this unbelievable opportunity, I’ve stepped back from a lot of my free writing and I believe that this has unfortunately separated me from my blog.  However, that is not good for me, nor my followers.  It disconnects me not only from my readers but also from myself.  

Writing for me is my way of finding ME Time in the midst of being a Full Time Single Mother of 4 Beautifully Busy Boys.  I have adult conversations by sharing my blog with the world even if it is only for a few minutes a day and I owe it to myself to stay Dedicated and Consistent in order to Restore myself to remaining AutumnBrookeOnline.  I was inspired to start up this blog on the continued request of my mother.  She told me repeatedly that my life was full of enough fodder to maintain a blog and it wasn’t about the content as long as I was writing.  So, with that being said and by sharing this post, I am dedicating myself to all of you and me too.  I will trust that you will hold me accountable by checking in every Wednesday to see if I have indeed succeeded in Sharing My Words; Heart, Mind, & Soul with all of you.  Here is the First for this Weds of our New Year…….

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