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Tag: #listendontjusthear

Selfie Syndrome

Remember these…..  this app was popular for a month as it would take your picture and convert your face into that of a Cover Model. Several of my friends and family used it to share what they “Could” look like, some even made it their social media profile pic for a while. I was curious and played around with it too, but didn’t post any of these. Yesterday was #NationalSelfieDay and I did take a selfie to post on my facebook page in order to make a point for today’s blog.

When I took the above images, I kept them because I had a thought about how focused many of us have become with our image. A desire to appear more than what we are in our physical appearance. I know that I am guilty of it, as proven in my selfie post yesterday. I took atleast half a dozen photos with different angles and lighting so that I would look more attractive. I did not use any filters such as IG, snapchat, or an editing tool, but I didn’t need to because there is a selfie softening filter automatically. I was actually unaware of this until it occurred to me that I always looked better when taking a selfie then if someone took a picture of me for an event.

The pictures in the app used above don’t make me feel more beautiful, they actually cause my self image to feel lower because I fear that I should be doing something different in order to achieve model status. I should learn better make up techniques, drink more water, have more facials…. maybe even think of using injections or sculpting.  This is not who I want to be or what I would want to promote to anyone who may look up to me. I do not ever want to be so vain that I would be willing to undergo a knife just to be “Socially Acceptable” in today’s day and age. To fit what the world as decided a middle aged women should look like.

I don’t let the world choose how I should live. I tend to lean towards the conservative, I am stricter than most in how I raise my children, I hold high morals and values that are certainly not popular in society, so why do I worry so much in how my physical appearance may be rated?

I guess in writing this, I realize that I don’t have an answer or solution so much, as it is just my observation. However, with realization, I can and will make an effort to change my thought process so that I may live easier. Be carefree enough to not avoid the camera, although I tend to be the one in the pictures with the closed eyes, or laughing too big. I want my children to know that it is okay to be themselves and not strive to be what only “some” consider perfect. I will still take Selfies, but I hope that now I may be happy with that First shot and not need to Filter every photo.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I know that I am made in “His Image” and in knowing that….  I know that I am Beautiful just being Me, and so are you!

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World Book Day

Designated by UNESCO (United Nations Educational Scientific and Cultural Organization) first held in 1995 and now celebrated in more than 100 countries world wide, World Book Day is more than a Celebration of Reading.  It is a day that recognizes Authors, Illustrators, lovers of Books, including but not limited to Publishers, Book Sellers, and my favorite, Libraries. Those that recognize the magical importance of books that bypass generations and cultures alike. A bridge between young and old, a common ground of a shared world created by identifiable characters that create an adventure that stands the test of time.

In the United Kingdom and Republic of Ireland World Book Day is recognized on the first Thursday of March to avoid clashing with the Easter holiday and St. George’s Day. Throughout the rest of the world it is celebrated on the 23 of April, an already established date among literary admirers as the birth date of William Shakespeare and the death of Miguel de Cervantes.  On both of these days the importance of World Book Day remains the same and that is to encourage future readers, to provide a book to every child which may be the first book that they own.  Free books or vouchers are offered at various locations, events that unite children with their favorite authors to possibly give them a dream bigger than their own.

Besides promoting reading and publishing there is one more important aspect of this day which is to recognize that the protection of intellectual property through the means of Copyright.  The Copyright.gov website describes it as, “Copyright, a form of intellectual property law, protects original works of authorship including literary, dramatic, musical, and artistic works, such as poetry, novels, movies, songs, computer software, and architecture” first coming into a treaty signed in 1886.  Even as I may wait for certain writings to be published, I know that there is always a sense of well being when I receive a Copyright certificate in the mail, knowing that my work is recognized as my own and protected as such.

I will feel remiss if I don’t admit that I was not aware of this date of celebration, but now that I am, I am going to make sure that I became an advocate and help spread awareness. I hope that all of you will also find a way to play a part to #PromoteLiteracy and #ReadingforAllAges.  #ShareaStory it’s #WorldBookDay

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DesignProof – Digital Design Tournament

This week I had the opportunity to attend a competition between Graphic Designers. It was put on by DesignProof at Bitwise Industries. I must admit to being impressed from the moment I arrived. Met at the door by two students that are welcoming as they place a wristband if over 21 yrs, for “complimentary” beer, and ask if you are familiar with the facility. Being my first visit I was offered a tour to of Bitwise.  Walls are covered in an eye catching graffiti style, there is a cafe, meeting space, Fed Ex, a small shop to repair screens and offer accessories for digital needs. Arrays of outlets in various seating locations, to catch up on homework for the many classes offered on site. It is a great location with so much to offer. You can read more about them here, and you should… http://bitwiseindustries.com/story/.

There was so much to do, see, and read, but with only thirty minutes until the start of the competition, I was inclined to partake of the refreshments especially after learning that it was accompanied by a Polish Sausage wrapped in a homemade bun, with the most delicious fresh relish provided by Mabel’s kitchen, where everything is made fresh sweet or savory. I heard stories about their homemade cinnamon buns and triple chocolate brownies, so I know I will need to make another visit to experience their decadence.  Menu items, hours, and more can be found on their website…. http://mabelskitchenfresno.com/.

People watching, talking, sharing in food and drink, I was fully satisfied and happy that I had come out to experience a new locale that I must have driven passed too many times to count. I was then reminded that there was still more…. the competition… my reason for attending, free entertainment. With minutes to spare, I made my way to the theater for a good seat. Yes, there is a theater with stage, stadium seating, and screen within Bitwise. It just kept getting better and better, especially after being stopped on my way in by another student that invited me to play a game of Plinko.  Let a golf ball roll down a decline and if it lands in the middle lane, I may choose a prize. To my delight, I now had dessert too as I settled with ease into my seat and was introduced to the contestants.

The competition was a timed event of sixty minutes between three designers. Casey Peck, Konnor Cantrell, Michael Vasquez that were chosen from many applicants that submitted five design pieces to the host DesignProof.  Their mission was to be the one with the best portrait at the end of sixty minutes only being allowed to use one stock photo, three brushes and three fonts. The design program was Adobe CC Design Suite and their computer screens were shared on the main large screen for the audience. During the time there was a series of raffles and trivia questions to keep us engaged with the opportunity to win more prizes. Time passed quickly, a short lull as four judges deliberated before making the final call to determine the winner.  1st Place was won by Konnor Cantrell, @lithium_is_salty who used a mannequin photo, manipulating it into a bright gradient piece that screamed abstract, definitely patterned after the trend for 2018.  The 2nd place spot was delivered to Michael Vasquez, @mikeysart840 for is take on Paco the dog. You can see more of his Aztec style on his attached Instagram page. Casey Peck,  @eyecandydesigns inspired by her apparel and accessory designs that delight women and little girls alike took home the 3rd place prize.

It was a fun event, one that I would definitely attend again. This was only the second competition of what we hope will continue to be an annual event held by DesignProof.  I was intrigued by their desire to inspire not only the artists but the community.  When asked Who Is Design Proof? Their statement is simple, “We are a group of designers, web designers, and digital artists who want to up the creative notch and see talent flourish in California. DesignProof seeks to bring together creatives that have a passion for design, eye for creative expression, and are generally awesome and see what happens.” Why a Tournament? It was their response to this question that made me not only a fan but a supporter, “We want to celebrate the people who make things pretty. They are tinkering, deliberate minds who work late nights lit by little more than the glow of their computer monitor. We look for the best emerging talent and showcase artists and their creative process for the education, excitement and inspiration of an onlooking audience.” More on DesignProof and the Tournament can be read here, http://designproof.org/.

As a creative myself, I love knowing that there are more people out there working hard to help others showcase their best selves and their passions. It is up to all of us to work together to make our community, our world beautiful and live a life inspired that sustains us to be able to continue to create. Please Like, Follow, Share and lets continue to work together to spread beauty in all forms.

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First Day of Spring

I have not written a blog in quite a while so it seems fitting that I would choose to write today, the first day of Spring.  I have a few times that I wrote about the rain, or even my own name in relation to the season itself, but Spring is my favorite time of the year. There is something so refreshing about the way that the earth has its own rebirth, making all seem fresh and new. We feel it so much as individuals, that we too, have a Spring Cleaning ritual, the talk of Summer coming and needing to renew our gym association for those upcoming bathing suit days. Be it our homes, our bodies, or our lives, the world takes on the importance of washing away the old and preparing for the new. This is important for all of us, although I don’t know that we always realize it. We take part in it for New Year Resolutions but many find those cliche, I admit that I don’t make New Years resolutions but we all unknowingly participate in the beginning of Spring.

For many it may be unintentional but we all need a chance to change or reevaluate what didn’t work the past year and start anew. The changing of the season with all its new growth helps us to do that, although many unfortunately don’t take notice of their surroundings. The beauty in our every day life that truly makes us who we are, but with such undeserved recognition. I need to spend moments outside everyday, I thrive off the sights and smell of nature. I make sure that my children spend at least 30-60 minutes outside each day, longer when the weather is warmer. I hope that they will grow to love it as I do and share the inspiration with those around them.

Today I woke to the sound of rain and although I love the rain, I was initially saddened. It seems that winter is lasting a little longer this year and I miss my warm, sunny days.  Taking a moment to enjoy the freshly washed black top and listen to the droplets fall from the leaves of the tree, I could see the buds on the branches that need the water to bloom; to look like the tree across the street with the many white blossoms glistening like snowflakes against the deep blue in the sky. Next to it was the tree that I swear looked bare yesterday but now was a radiant green with new leaves adorning its stems. My grass was deeper, the soil darker for the flowers I know are to come in the next few weeks.

We have the benefit of spending each day living in an ever changing painting of life and we too, as people need to remember that our own lives are not singular but part of a constant fluidity that makes the world go round. Don’t let any moment of the beauty of the world, others or yourself pass you by.  Spring is just the beginning!

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All’s Not Lost

The rain falling across the window pane matched the tears in her heart. She refused to actually cry and let teardrops fall from her eyes, but she felt them all the same. The harsh cruel words repeating over and over, it was impossible to erase them from her mind. It was painful but she needed to grieve for what was and what could have been and then let it go. It wasn’t easy, but nothing worth achieving ever is, or so they say. This wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last but she refused to go down this dark road again, it wasn’t healthy. She almost didn’t make it back the last time. Shaking her head to try to clear the negativity she forced herself to get up. A silent scream of “Just Move” took over her being. Go for a walk in the rain, meet the kids at the bus stop, knock on the neighbor’s door and see if she would like some coffee. Do something, anything, she begged herself but it was of no use. She watched herself sit there staring as the rain washed down the glass. It was as if she was trapped inside her own body, the feelings of hurt, guilt, worthlessness weighing her down in a bed of nothingness. She was trying so hard to free herself from the mental chains but they were too heavy.  Her children came home from school, excitedly talking about the events of the day and she acknowledged them with vacant eyes.  She eventually did move, but more as a robot, following the routine of making dinner for her family, greeting her husband, allowing herself to become lost within her own mind. As the days passed the silent scream for help grew dim as those closest to her were unaware that she was trapped in a mental prison. Retreating behind a wall of fake smiles, empty hugs, and meaningless words became normal, as did the tears flooding her heart. 

Maybe some of you can relate to this story from personal experience or you recognize some of the signs in a friend or family member.  Depression is a serious mental health issue that can lead to suicide in 1 out of 10 people.  It is often not recognized by many as the person doesn’t appear sick and may even seem social to most, however, that isn’t always the case day by day or hour by hour. Depression doesn’t discriminate by race, gender, or age but you can make a difference. Be actively involved if you suspect that someone might be struggling and find them help before it’s too late. Be kind, gentle, and supportive because what they feel is very real and your words or your presence may be all they need at that moment.

“You can #BeThe1 To help someone in crisis. You don’t have to be a mental health professional to help someone in your life that may be struggling. Learn the Lifeline’s 5 steps that you can use to help a loved one that may be in crisis.” http://www.bethe1to.com

“The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We’re committed to improving crisis services and advancing suicide prevention by empowering individuals, advancing professional best practices, and building awareness.”  https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org  or Call 1-800-273-8255

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Our Truest Life

“Our truest life is when we are in dreams… Awake.”

I heard this quote by Henry David Thoreau just the other day and couldn’t help but ponder on how brilliant a statement it was and wonder why we, society, fail to realize how truly “good” life really is.  We are headed into the New Year of 2018, so like most I am reflective as well as focused on the future.  I would like to say that this year has been unusual for me, but I tend to live my life on the road less traveled; however, I can admit that this was an unexpected Christmas.  I was not focused on the holiday because my boys were going to be with their father this year, until 3 days before Christmas and plans changed.  I was rushing around like a crazy lady, trying to create Christmas Magic in our home to give a memory to remember.  What I failed to realize was that I was so focused on the commercial aspect that I didn’t stop to give real meaning to the day.  Please don’t misunderstand, I only gave the boys two gifts each and the continual reminder of why we celebrate Christmas, but as a mother, in not planning on them being here with me, I felt stressed and uneasy on not being prepared.  (It’s a Mommy thing) Christmas came and went, the boys seemed to be grateful and happy.

The feelings for me have carried over as we prepare to celebrate the upcoming New Year.   Always a difficult time of the year because my cousin, Sarah, passed on that witching hour, what I have come to realize was 5 years ago.  She holds a special place in my heart as my first girl cousin, and we had recently began to reconnect as I made plans to move back to Fresno that same year.  She was too young, too beautiful, and her children are only raised by the great memories we share so that they may know and remember their mother.  Then I think on my mother that passed a short year later and how I was blessed with having her for my entire childhood.  This weighs heavy on my heart and then I read through social media to find friends suffering the same burdens.  Many are grieving for past loved ones, some fresh and new.  The hands of time do not stop for the holidays, life is an unexpected blessing and we need to cherish it as such.

This brings me back to the quote.  Our Truest Life…. I love that word True.  What is it that makes or gives you, your truest life?  For me it would be Love.  I fail in so many ways every day, but as long as I can put my sons to bed knowing that they feel secure in my love, then I feel accomplished.  Certainly, I want to provide more for them; to Live our Dream, Awake, but until that day, I need to learn to Cherish Every Moment.  To quit focusing on the details, to see that every minute I spend stressing the small stuff, they are growing older and days are passing me by.

With this New Year, I want to make a Resolution or an Affirmation, that I will See the Bigger Picture, Focus on the Dream, but take Time in the Moments!  If I only live for a brighter future, I may miss the journey it took to get there and that is really where the greatness lies.  For these boys, I am their world and for some reason, I never understood what a true blessing that is….. I always felt that this responsibility was often an overwhelming burden more then blessing.  Some may read that and find me callous and shallow, but I also know that there are plenty of mothers for which that statement will ring true.

For 2018, I challenge each of us to take on our burdens and bare them as blessings.  To achieve our dreams wide awake, so that each day may be joy unto itself.  Take pleasure in all things, big or small, positive or negative…..  because in this life the only thing certain is the uncertainty of each day.  It can always be better or it can always be worse…. Essentially it is what you make it, so make it the best it can be!

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Leader of Your Own Life

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more – You are a Leader.”   –John Quincy Adams

This quote by our 6th President of the United States is my entire blog in one sentence. It really is that simple when you realize that we lead by example so be the kind of leader that you would follow.  One that inspires you to find your inner greatness and encourages you to think outside the box, to test the limits.

A true leader is not there to create more followers but to create more leaders. Empower those around you, essentially empowering yourself to be the leader of your own life. It is a give and take relationship, about communication and collaboration. Leadership is about serving others to the point where they want to follow you.

If you think that you are leading but turn around to see that no one is behind you, then you are just taking a walk. Most likely have taken a detour in your own life and need to stop and regroup. Leading is synonymous with Learning, they go hand in hand and we learn from those that surround us. It is essential to have a team that will inspire and motivate you as you Lead the way, not because you are stronger or greater, but because you have more ambition and drive.

The Strongest people are those who use life’s difficulties to become Better not Bitter. It only takes one person to make a change that leads to a chain reaction of others willing to make a difference. Be a Leader to Inspire, Educate, and Change the Generation, essentially changing the World for the Better.

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Something About May…..

“We know what we are, but know not what we may be.”  

(William Shakespeare)

 I think that Shakespeare understood a better part of himself then most of us…… wise enough to realize that we may finally understand our inner beings but aware that the future is never fully known.  I am just now learning to embrace this fact in my life.  If you follow my personal page on Facebook then you may have seen that I am focusing on renewing the better part of myself.   Started out simple – back to those early morning Gym workouts, watching what I eat and drink, being that Summer is just around the corner.  However, I then had to take a deeper introspective look into the other areas of my life and realized that I am Happy with the Me that I Am today.  Of course, no one is perfect and there is always room for improvement, but what was it that I really wanted to change……?    I know that there is still so much more that I need and want to do which means … Focus, Clarity, Productivity!

There is just something about May; One of my favorite months, the rebirth of the earth as we bring in Spring.  Like that old nursery rhyme…. “April Showers Bring May Flowers” I want to shower my life with colorful flowers and the best way that I know to do that is to dedicate myself to the month of May.  It is vitally important to me that I am an example of accomplishing the seemingly impossible to my boys and within that I strive to #BeInspiredtoInspire and what better way to do that then to see the beauty within myself and all areas of my life.  I believe in the #LawofAttraction so I will continue to focus on all that is good and pure in the world.  

It is not about yesterday or tomorrow but today….. the time is now and you are in control of all that you desire.  New Month. New Beginning. New Mindset.  New Focus. New Start.  New Intentions. New Results.  May we all represent this month with a show of our personal growth as we spring into action!  Happy May Day!

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Our Own Worst Critic

I have become a fan of the show Z: The Beginning of Everythinga biography based series about the life of Zelda Fitzgerald.  (Season 1 is available on Amazon)  Recently I watched an episode where after receiving a negative review, F. Scott Fitzgerald is told by the critic, “Don’t take it so personal, I was reviewing your book, not you.”  As a writer, I felt stabbed in the heart when I heard those words, only thinking to myself how impossible it was to not take a review personal.  How ignorant the critic was to not know that most writers, most artists, pour themselves heart and soul into their work.  It is often difficult to separate one from the other.   On my Author Facebook page I even write that “I strongly believe that when you know an author, that you have a deeper understanding of their words and the meaning behind them.”  This is because somewhere even if it is in the depths of the unsaid, there is a part of the author within the words.

I felt plagued by this scene for a few days, but I know that I tend to be overly sensitive so I did my best to let it go. Until I felt the same stab to the heart in a scene of, my now favorite show on TV, This is Us.  (Seriously, if you haven’t seen this show, please do.  The extraordinary writing is only made greater by the amazing chemistry between the cast members.  I can’t get enough of it, honestly considered writing a blog just to sing their praises!)

 But, back to the point of today’s actual blog…..  There was a scene where the acting brother seeks a top critic to review a play that he is starring in and producing, only to be told that the critic considered showing up to witness the disaster of a sitcom TV actor trying to cross over into the drama of play acting.   The statement was so callous and mean, and most of all unnecessary.  There was another scene in this same show, this past week, where the mother is trying to break into becoming a professional singer.  Her friends are supportive of her “Singing Thing,” but think it would be wise that she keep her options open since the percentage of “Making It Big” are so slim and not everyone can live by pursuing their dream.

Yes, I know that her friends were just being realistic and Yes, I know that it is the job of a Critic to be critical.  It is a harsh business and why it is said that the most important thing is to develop a tough skin or you will never make it.  I guess, I just want to say that although some reviews are negative, they are helpful when given as constructive criticism.  And to the friends that are really only trying to be helpful with their sage advice, remember that there is a reason most artists choose to suffer or go without when pursuing their dream….. they can’t not at least TRY!  Knowing that if you fail, you did so having given your best shot and hopefully having fun along the way.

So, the next time that you are judging the work of a creative just try to remember that an Artist is usually their own worst critic, so Be Kind.  It is not only a writing, or picture, or performance but it is most likely a piece of their Heart!

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Adulting

TOP DEFINITION: URBAN DICTIONARY
Adulting (v): to do grown up things and hold responsibilities such as, a 9-5 job, a mortgage/rent, a car payment, or anything else that makes one think of grown ups.
Used in a sentence: Jane is adulting quite well today as she is on time for work promptly at 8am and appears well groomed.
… And this would be why there are so many different meme’s with quotes of “I can’t Adult today,” “Adulting is Hard, Send Wine,” the positive meme to motivate “Adulting like a Boss,” and my personal favorite, “I’m Done Adulting, Let’s be Mermaids,” plus 100’s more.  Which I find ironic being that “Adulting” is not even a recognized word, grammatically unless you are a millennial and upon research is yet to even be established as a noun or a verb.
However, I relate to the context and like the term, so this is the theme for my blog of the week.  I could write for days about the responsibilities of being an Adult, or Parent, or a Single Parent  but we ‘already know’ so no reason to go there.  I am, instead, going to go a little bit deeper and talk about those times when you have to make a Choice; the really Big Kind, like Life Altering Kind!  The worst part about it is, since you are the adult, the parent, your ‘choice’ now affects all of those within your circle.
I have basically grown up in the military or with enough family support around me that My decisions were still Never really My Own.  I am now in a position in my life where I actually Am the Adult.  This means that what I choose is ‘Make or Break,.’ If my choice is wrong, it is ultimately up to me to Fix it.  Obviously as  a single mother of 4, we have had some big decisions along the way…..  I am just now being presented with one of those “once in a lifetime” kinda options.  I can follow my dream and jump in with both feet and hope that I catch the wave or at least swim in the current, knowing that there is no life boat in sight.  Or I tread, barely keeping my head above water…… waiting for another life preserver that may never come.
The Motherly part of me says to stay put, where I am familiar and safe, but the Adult side says that if I stay put, never to follow my destiny, I am already treading water and I have to agree…….. it goes fully against my nature to not follow my instincts.  I am a great mother, and I can say this with humility because my son’s are amazing, each in their own right but it is because of them that I know I can trust myself to do what is right and not second guess my decisions.
Adulting is difficult, more so, when you are responsible for more than yourself, but trust your heart, your dream, your destiny and don’t let go of your chance to make it.
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