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Category: Parenting

2020 Seniors

Published by Autumn Brooke on March 17, 2020

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This world of ours is in such a crazy place right now that it is hard to plan not just for tomorrow, but even for several hours from now. That is how rapidly things are changing. I think about how I was overwhelmed with how much there was to do and schedule for my family of 7 that I had a huge wall calendar with all our events, plus my purse calendar. This doesn’t count the tasking app on my phone, or the list stuck to the fridge because we have a Senior that had 3 months of deadlines and activities given to us by the school.

He is my firstborn, I have been dreading this time of our life as much as I have been looking forward to it. My baby will graduate High School, the final stepping stone to adulthood.  He has earned it, more then deserves all the fun and excitement that these last few weeks would entail. However, that is not to be the case, as one dance has been canceled, most likely Senior Prom too, and the possibility of not walking for a graduation ceremony.  These activities are rites of passage, I have been talking with him about them since kindergarten. My heart breaks not only for him and all Seniors but for us parents as well. We Did It! We made it this far and deserve to see our babies enjoy these final days of their childhood.

For some, it will be the last time they may ever see their friends as most are headed off to different colleges, vocational schools, or even jobs. School had become a joyous place with special events, breakfasts, award assemblies, activities designed specifically for the Senior class. What happens to the yearbooks, the dated announcements already ordered, for a few around the world Prom was already canceled with clothes never worn. That first dance with a long-time crush never experienced.

I don’t understand, nor do I know how long all of this might last, but I do know that this generation of Seniors is different than my Senior Class. We did not have access to technology and understanding that makes all of you a different breed. A group of adults that will be able to not only fix what we have lost but make it better. We will need you as if you have needed us. I believe in you and our future knowing that you will be the generation of reform and rebuilding.

Class of 2020, you are not forgotten and our heart breaks with you, but at the end of all this chaos, you will be the ones that make the biggest impact!

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Soul Resolution

Published by Autumn Brooke on January 4, 2018

With the New Year upon us many people find themselves making a resolution to better themselves.  We’ve all read them, we’ve all made them and most have broken them.  Eat Healthier, Exercise, Quit Smoking, Make More Money, Save More Money, Spend More Family Time…… the list goes on.  Trying to be a better person for ourselves or our loved ones is essentially the goal, but I challenge that in order to fully maintain these lifestyle changes one needs to Impress, Accept, and Love Yourself.  Give credit for your accomplishments, such as achieving certain life goals but realize that the happiness in that milestone achievement is not sustainable, because in order to feel fulfilled we need to progress. This means a lifetime of constantly learning, growing, and changing. Daily Self Improvement so that we may become the best version of ourselves.  It is when we are really focused on our-self that we find are true potential and it is only then that we can give of ourselves to help better others.  I use a hashtag in most of my posts; #BeInpiredtoInspire, if I am not positive, motivated, inspired then I am unable to bring those attributes into the lives of others.  My desire is to be my best self as a model for my children and encourage them in all aspects of their life. It is the simple Law of Attraction, good brings good, so Refresh, Recharge, Refocus on You and make a Soul Resolution for ME Time, your Future Self will Thank You.  Water Your Soul and make all 365 days count!

 

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Adulting

Published by Autumn Brooke on March 9, 2017

TOP DEFINITION: URBAN DICTIONARY
Adulting
Adulting (v): to do grown up things and hold responsibilities such as, a 9-5 job, a mortgage/rent, a car payment, or anything else that makes one think of grown ups.
Used in a sentence: Jane is adulting quite well today as she is on time for work promptly at 8am and appears well groomed.
#adulting #responsible #responsibilities #bills #grown up
… And this would be why there are so many different meme’s with quotes of “I can’t Adult today,” “Adulting is Hard, Send Wine,” the positive meme to motivate “Adulting like a Boss,” and my personal favorite, “I’m Done Adulting, Let’s be Mermaids,” plus 100’s more.  Which I find ironic being that “Adulting” is not even a recognized word, grammatically unless you are a millennial and upon research is yet to even be established as a noun or a verb.
However, I relate to the context and like the term, so this is the theme for my blog of the week.  I could write for days about the responsibilities of being an Adult, or Parent, or a Single Parent  but we ‘already know’ so no reason to go there.  I am, instead, going to go a little bit deeper and talk about those times when you have to make a Choice; the really Big Kind, like Life Altering Kind!  The worst part about it is, since you are the adult, the parent, your ‘choice’ now affects all of those within your circle.
I have basically grown up in the military or with enough family support around me that My decisions were still Never really My Own.  I am now in a position in my life where I actually Am the Adult.  This means that what I choose is ‘Make or Break,.’ If my choice is wrong, it is ultimately up to me to Fix it.  Obviously as  a single mother of 4, we have had some big decisions along the way…..  I am just now being presented with one of those “once in a lifetime” kinda options.  I can follow my dream and jump in with both feet and hope that I catch the wave or at least swim in the current, knowing that there is no life boat in sight.  Or I tread, barely keeping my head above water…… waiting for another life preserver that may never come.
The Motherly part of me says to stay put, where I am familiar and safe, but the Adult side says that if I stay put, never to follow my destiny, I am already treading water and I have to agree…….. it goes fully against my nature to not follow my instincts.  I am a great mother, and I can say this with humility because my son’s are amazing, each in their own right but it is because of them that I know I can trust myself to do what is right and not second guess my decisions.
Adulting is difficult, more so, when you are responsible for more than yourself, but trust your heart, your dream, your destiny and don’t let go of your chance to make it.
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YOU set the Limits

Published by Autumn Brooke on February 23, 2017

Yesterday I shared my first video of myself across social media.  It was meant to be a Live video as that seems to be what is trending, but I could not bring myself to “yet” make that leap.  I, instead, sat alone in my room and recorded a minute long video of myself.  It was simple, I asked people that Follow Autumn Brooke on Facebook to also Follow my Author Page at AutumnBrookeOnline.  However, this simple one minute recording took me all day to work up the courage to film and then at least 30 minutes behind a locked door as I deleted every video I took.  I knew that I was being ridiculous in my critiques and would never be satisfied.  To be honest, I am not even sure that the posted video is because I finally gave up, or the boys were repeatedly knocking on the door with the ever so familiar “Mom, Mom….. are you okay? Why is the door locked? I’m hungry! Mom, my brother hit me!”  It doesn’t matter what made me stop recording; the point was, I did it.  Yes, it took me two days to then work up the nerve to post it, but I did that too and all of it was totally outside of my comfort zone and that is what matters.  You have heard it said that “your life begins outside of your comfort zone” “the magic happens outside of your comfort zone”  ect, ect…..  The list goes on and on and that’s because it is probably true.  Talking on a recording was a big deal for me.  I have tried it many times before, even in a professional atmosphere, but it has yet to get easier, but I continue to try and will keep making that effort.  Why?  Not because the few viewings went viral or made me instantly famous, (which is not my goal) but I do want to be successful enough in my writing and the selling of the novel, and feature film adaptation that I need to put myself out there.  I need to feel comfortable with being on camera or talking about myself.  My favorite place to be is settled on my sofa, in a pair of yoga pants, tank top, and most likely a glass of wine nearby…. but that comfort zone is not going to find me the success that I desire.  I am the only one that makes myself feel nervous, and I am the only one that can tell myself to get up off the couch and reach for the stars.  It is all up to me to make my dreams a reality and achieve my goals.  I know that my story is meant to be told, read, and shared, but that only happens if I make it happen.  I was Active Duty Air Force for a few years in my early 20’s and it really made an impact in who I am today.  One of the most important lessons I took away was how many people told me that I was not Military material or would be able to handle Basic Training, I learned to not only Rise to the Challenge but surpass all expectations, and excel in whatever I do.  I’ve continued to live by that philosophy in all aspects of my life, but am only now realizing that I need to do the same within the boundaries that “I” put on myself.  The future is limitless, and so is your destiny.

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Puddle Play

Published by Autumn Brooke on February 9, 2017

“Life is like a puddle~ you can stand on the edge and watch the reflection of what is…. Or you can jump in and create a wave.”  (Kristine Peterson)

I read this quote and instantly fell in love.  It resonated throughout my whole being as I realized that this was the reason that just last week, I stopped everything and took myself outside with the boys.  There was finally a break in the rain that had left an ocean of puddles.  The boys asked if they could jump in them and I said, “of course”!  An earlier blog mentions how I often allow, encourage, my children to find that childhood joy only found by playing in the puddles.  It was just after 4:30pm on Friday, I poured a glass of wine and sat in the front watching the smiles and listening to their laughter.  The street, busier than usual, as neighbors were driving home from work, grinning and waving as they saw the boys.  I remember wondering how many of them remembered the days they too had played in the rain.

That thought led me to question why we stop seeing the puddle as an opportunity but as an obstacle.  I had recently become this person.  This past week had been more trying then most, filled with a multitude of spirit breaking trials.  (Why there was No Wednesday Blog last week)  Our oven blew a coil and I had to wait a week for a replacement.  Then a valve broke that shut the water off for 48 hours.  Living without was more difficult than I could have ever imagined.  It was one thing after another for so many days that I was ready to blow my own fuse.  Then the benefit of social media let me read a post.  Gratefully not a political rant, but one of blessing, as a Facebook friend was grateful that they had made it home safe to kiss their children after barely avoiding a most likely fatal accident.  I took pause, thinking how my difficult week was not even near the tragedy that others may have faced.

It is important to always remember to count your blessings and be grateful that if there is a puddle as an obstacle on your path, keep moving forward.  If the puddle is too big to step around then use that opportunity to leap in and make a wave.

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Love Trumps Hate

Published by Autumn Brooke on January 21, 2017

Let me begin by saying this is NOT a political post despite the way that it looks.  The Inauguration is just the topic of the day, no matter where you look.  My children even came home from school having watched it for an hour or two in their classrooms.  I thought about what I might discuss with them about such an important day in history but unsure of my standpoint on a political level.  My social news feed was crowded with videos of RIOTS for those that were against our new President mostly due to issues on RACE.  This was not a topic I wanted around our dinner table.  What would I say?  These people have a RIGHT to their opinion and to let their voice be heard, but they are wrong to RIOT and cause violence all because of RESENTMENT, RETALIATION, and RETRIBUTION.  These R’s are what seem to be the REASON for so much anger and animosity in our world, not just in regard to politics, but in many areas of our life.  The world seems to be full of people not choosing to forgive, understand, or accept change.  And that is really what it is all about.  CHANGE!  A difficult word for most, certainly hard to accept if one does not initiate it for themselves because it means an unwanted change in circumstance. I teach my children that acceptance is key.  We cannot always get what we want in this life and the sooner we learn to live with it the better.  So, LOVE TRUMPS HATE…. that is the statement of the Day.  It is everywhere today and on both sides.  It is True, as most would choose Love over Hate, my Grandma would say “You can catch more flies with honey, then with vinegar”.  Now I know what I will talk about at the dinner table tonight, as I do not want to raise my children to have serious Entitlement Issues.  What the Military taught me, what they have been teaching for years.  Actually, I think it has just become old school, somewhere along the way we got too soft.    My words for my kids, in any walk of life…. when you cannot change the situation and are forced to accept it, Just Grow Up and Get Over It!

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Parents Need a Time Out

Published by Autumn Brooke on January 19, 2017

I overwhelmed myself today as I contemplated what I should blog about.  The possibilities were endless and it was hard for me to focus on one topic long enough to wrap my head around a central idea, that’s when it hit me….. I was just complaining to a friend of mine about my lack of focus about life in general.  I came home yesterday after retrieving kids from school and was just lost in a state of melancholy.  It was so noticeable that my oldest son even asked what was wrong, but I had no true answer for him.  I wasn’t sad, nor grumpy, I just was and couldn’t shake it.  As the night continued with the regular daily motherly chores of checking homework, laundry, and dinner; I did my best to not share my mood.  However, as I served myself last of a painstakingly long and in-depth dinner, I took my first bite to find it delicious but already cold.  I warmed up my plate but it was too late.  I just couldn’t eat.  I realized why I was so out of sorts and knew that it was no ones fault but my own.  Mommy needed a Time Out!

Yes, as parents one of the first and most common pieces of advice that you here is “Take time for yourself.”  “Don’t feel guilty about needing a break from your kids.”  “Me Time will essentially make you a better parent to your child.”  All True!  I had just let life get so busy and complicated that I had not scheduled that all important Time Out.  I had the wine, the longer shower, even the piece of chocolate while watching a new Prime TV series, all things that help me decompress and re-energize, but not this time.  I still felt off.

It was not until the conversation with a friend that we realized together what was missing…… I needed GROWN UP time.  For me this equates to No Children present and actual adult conversation.  This means that I had to actually go out and socialize with other adults.  Being a single mom to 4 and making my living as a writer, I don’t tend to interact in the real world as often as I should and I was seriously lacking in the Fun department.

I am betting that we are all guilty of this far too often and I am here to say “Stop whatever you are doing and make a plan to make a date with your significant other or a group of friends.”  Don’t let yourself become so busy that you miss out on your life too.  One day these little people that control our whole world will be grown and gone.  So busy with their friends that they will forget to call home and you will have lost contact with  your own friends.  We need adult interaction, we need to connect with those people in our lives that keep us sane and give us joy.  It doesn’t need to be long or expensive, just a cup of coffee or walk will do.  Time to talk, engage with no social media or distractions, time to focus on all or nothing.  And, if like me, you took that time to feel better about yourself then repay the favor by finding another parent that may need help with child care so they too can take their Parent Time Out!  We are all in this together and we need to support each other in this most important mission of our life…. Parenting!

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