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Tag: #Feelfreetobeyourself

Be You ~ A Writer Lost

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This morning I woke up with the pull to write, to be honest, I haven’t felt that need for the past few weeks. It shouldn’t seem so surprising for a writer, but I’ve taken a step back from not only posting my words but even free creative writing of my own. There has been a lot going on personally in my life and my words were reflecting a tone that I did not want to portray.

Within the last month I am more rested, my days of recuperation nearly behind, and yet, the silent whisper of words to share was gone. The voices of characters demanding for their story to be told was non- existent, I was/am afraid that I had lost my passion for writing.

The fear grew stronger, as did my anxiety  the longer it took for me to put pen to paper. I did try, but there just seemed like I had nothing to say. I certainly didn’t have anything worth anyone’s time to read. It got worse, as people begin to ask when I would write again. For some, the question was out of genuine curiosity as my site was dark, for others it was concern, knowing I am happiest when writing.

For me; Anxiousness and Self-Doubt was replaced by personal judgement and discouragement. I felt as if I was disappointing those invested in my future. I felt like a failure as a writer, and a fraud as I could no longer hear the call…. The struggle was real.

I knew the writing tips and tricks. The mantras, positive thinking, how to “Get Out” of Writers Block; but I had internalized all the negativity. I now read all other’s posts, blogs, books and convinced myself that I was wasting my time. I was never going to be as good as ‘those’ writers. I just didn’t have what it takes.

This morning, thoughts invaded my sleep, with a realization. My claim for AutumnBrookeOnline is to write from Heart, Mind and Soul, whatever that may be. I don’t have to be perfect, or even interesting, (although it helps). I just need to be me! Maybe I won’t have anything profoundly important to say, but if I feel it, I can write it and in my experience, your words may touch someone; today, tomorrow, or next year; but it is “You Being You” that makes the difference. Don’t focus on all the rest and find your inner strength within, only be exactly who you are….. that is when the greatness begins!

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Our emotions are but a storm

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Life has been a serious of up and down complications the past two weeks that have had me on an emotional roller coaster.  I haven’t posted  because I didn’t want to write about my feelings, but yesterday I remembered that my tag line is “Words of Heart, Mind, & Soul” so if I wrote I would not only be honest with my readers, but honest with myself.  That one thought gave me an epiphany that has given me a new perspective and I wanted to share it with you, because the one thing I know for a fact is that we all have good and bad days.  The weather has been just as tumultuous with this heat wave sending lightening storms throughout the valley, which is what led me to the recognition that I was having the same type of storms in my life.  Calm, blue, and peaceful one moment but dark, grey, clouds, the next, and during bursts of extreme chaos there can be thunder and lightening.  These chaotic storms that are so beautiful outside, are not so beautiful within a person.   I understand now that both are releases of energy and pressure, but can leave a trail of destruction in its wake if aimed at an object.  I ultimately never felt better after an outburst, and was falling in to a deeper level of sadness until the wind blew and changed my emotional state once again to feeling joy. I am only now coming to realize that I cannot always control my feelings, just as not every situation is controllable, but I can control my reaction to said situation.  The new kid’s movie out right now, Inside Out, sums up my blog exactly.  Not to give anything away, if you have yet to see it, but the premise is that our feelings cannot go exist, but throughout the movie, in order to be fully whole, that is exactly what has to happen…..  we must accept our sadness in order to feel true joy.  So, the next time that you feel mad, or sad, take a moment and work through your thoughts instead of trying to deny them or push them to the side, and maybe, just maybe, you will avoid that tumultuous storm!

(Picture Credit: http://www.preparemag.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/lightning_last_year_by_oompa123.jpg )

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