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Tag: #blessings

The Best Tribute I Can Give to My Mother on the 10th Anniversary of Her Death, this Mother’s Day

Published by Autumn Brooke on May 13, 2023

Another year, another Mother’s Day, has become one of my least favorite days of the year since my mother’s passing. She left us just 24 hours after her last Mother’s Day but for some reason, I am always able to forget the actual date until the season comes. A few days ago I was struck with the realization that this year, this Mother’s Day coincides with the 10 Year Anniversary of Her Death. That definitely hit differently. Ten years that she has been missed at family milestones and events. Memories that have been created without her. 

As I have been processing how to go about the day, and how to feel or react, a friend of hers sent me a message on Facebook. She received a screenshot of her memories that included a comment from my mom and she thought that I might appreciate it. I love seeing old comments or memories of her so she was right, but I don’t think she knew just how special this one would be. It struck me at first because Tammy’s memory was her actually Remembering the 10th Anniversary of Her Mother’s Death. I honestly don’t think when she shared it with me, she was even aware that this will be my mother’s 10 years. Quite a coincidence, but who says God doesn’t have a sense of Humor? 

The comment to Tammy from my mother, Katherine, was able to change my mindset and give me a different perspective. The sorrow remains the same but knowing her love for me soothes a little of the pain. My mother had written that “Our children are the best tributes we can leave of ourselves!” I am my mother’s Only Child, so in her words, I am her tribute to the world. As a mother myself, I understand that I have raised my sons to be the best versions of themselves and a value to the world. I just never thought about that my mother did the same with me. 

I have tried to remember all the lessons she taught me over the years and the wisdom that I gained from her that I try to pass on. So, this Mother’s Day I will remember that although she is not physically here with us, her legacy is, as I am here, “her best tribute’ and her grandsons continue to carry on for generations to come. 

Thank You, Mama, Happy Mother’s Day! 

I hope this blog post may help you appreciate the legacy of your mother or the mothers in your life. If you have any stories or thoughts to share, please leave a comment below. I would love to hear from you.

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Adults building Lego

Adults building Lego

Published by Autumn Brooke on January 28, 2023

I am an AFOL; Adult Fan of LEGO. I did not know this acronym, but I am loving that there is a term for it because it means that I am not alone in my fandom. I played with LEGO as a child but admit to finding more solace and joy in my current collection.  

In 2020 the first episode of LEGO Masters aired. A competitive series following teams of two, building a LEGO creation based on a theme given in that specific episode with the hope of not being eliminated. An enjoyable family show, especially as the teams were adults with a love for LEGO, some more experienced than others but that was part of the draw. These pairs developed over the course of the show, learning from the other competitors. Siblings, parents, parent and adult child, friends, moms, coworkers the pair options are endless and identifiable. I was intrigued and ready to play too.  

In 2020 LEGO also “Welcomed Adults” with their new 18+ Sets replacing the Expert LEGO Line that was intended for more advanced players. Themed LEGOS were released such as a Botanical Collection with flowers and trees that could be decorations in a room or office once built. An Architecture Line with renowned buildings around the world such as the Trevi Fountain, Statue of Liberty, and smaller scale sets of cities with a strip of their most recognizable buildings. The Las Vegas Strip, Paris with the Eifel Tower and Louver, London featuring Big Ben, Tower Bridge, and the London Eye. LEGO has collections to cater to adult fandom in Car Models, Movie Scenes or LEGO models of characters to again be used as decoration. There is a theme or collection to appeal to everyone on any level of building at many different price points. Architecture is my personal favorite, I started with the small-scale London city scene for my first build.  

March 2020 was also the beginning of the lockdown so my newfound interest in LEGO took on an entirely new meaning for me. It became my therapy, my lifeline, a connection to the outside world. It brought me a sense of peace and well-being after a day of trying to keep five teenagers engaged in OnLine School. LEGOS have been used for mental health even in helping to prevent dementia.  

My LEGO builds started to expand as my skill grew and lockdown seemed to have no end in sight. However, the LEGOS were not just for me anymore. LEGOS were bought or ordered to complete my collection, I was encouraged to continue building and the joy of completing a project and displaying was shared by my family. They would surprise me with a piece that was hard to find and take on the chore of dinner so I could build. Displayed on a hall table for all to enjoy, but many builds are extremely fragile and my family took it upon themselves to be extra careful when walking or cleaning. Even the cats were trained to not touch.  

I still have several sets to build, I have missed not having that free time to do so but I also ran out of space to display them and I can’t bring myself to break them down and rebox them. That has actually become a more serious concern for me as I am looking at moving and don’t know how to move them, without taking them apart. I love puzzles too and have no problem taking them apart after completed and putting them back in the box. Is my tie to these LEGO builds because of the time spent, a memory that is connecting me to it? Honestly, I don’t know, but for now, they remain displayed with my little family of protectors to keep them safe. We have even discussed the type of shelving that we need in the future when I do build some of the bigger sets.  

I have nearly completed my collection, that is until LEGO makes another that I just can’t live without. If they ever design The RMS Queen Mary, I will be first in line to buy it. (I’ve actually submitted it in their suggestion box.) If LEGO pairs with NFL and makes the 49ers LEVI Stadium, ‘Forget About It’ that baby would be on my Niner Fan Shelf by the end of the day.  

A LEGO Fan Girl and proud of it. What hobbies bring you joy? Especially those encouraged and supported by your family?

Detailed Photos in Comments

 

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2020 Seniors

Published by Autumn Brooke on March 17, 2020

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This world of ours is in such a crazy place right now that it is hard to plan not just for tomorrow, but even for several hours from now. That is how rapidly things are changing. I think about how I was overwhelmed with how much there was to do and schedule for my family of 7 that I had a huge wall calendar with all our events, plus my purse calendar. This doesn’t count the tasking app on my phone, or the list stuck to the fridge because we have a Senior that had 3 months of deadlines and activities given to us by the school.

He is my firstborn, I have been dreading this time of our life as much as I have been looking forward to it. My baby will graduate High School, the final stepping stone to adulthood.  He has earned it, more then deserves all the fun and excitement that these last few weeks would entail. However, that is not to be the case, as one dance has been canceled, most likely Senior Prom too, and the possibility of not walking for a graduation ceremony.  These activities are rites of passage, I have been talking with him about them since kindergarten. My heart breaks not only for him and all Seniors but for us parents as well. We Did It! We made it this far and deserve to see our babies enjoy these final days of their childhood.

For some, it will be the last time they may ever see their friends as most are headed off to different colleges, vocational schools, or even jobs. School had become a joyous place with special events, breakfasts, award assemblies, activities designed specifically for the Senior class. What happens to the yearbooks, the dated announcements already ordered, for a few around the world Prom was already canceled with clothes never worn. That first dance with a long-time crush never experienced.

I don’t understand, nor do I know how long all of this might last, but I do know that this generation of Seniors is different than my Senior Class. We did not have access to technology and understanding that makes all of you a different breed. A group of adults that will be able to not only fix what we have lost but make it better. We will need you as if you have needed us. I believe in you and our future knowing that you will be the generation of reform and rebuilding.

Class of 2020, you are not forgotten and our heart breaks with you, but at the end of all this chaos, you will be the ones that make the biggest impact!

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Rain Cloud

Published by Autumn Brooke on March 30, 2018

The kids are gone this week for Spring Break and I had a list a mile long that I planned to accomplish not needing to be on their time. As any parent can relate kids not only come with a lot of responsibilities but with a massive schedule. With them away, I was not bound to a routine and planned to put in the work; after I took one day to myself to fully relax in the silence, besides, Sunday is Rest Day. Tomorrow is the last day of the week and I have only managed to cross two items off my list. I woke up this morning chastising myself for my lack of commitment, but I don’t feel a sense of failure, more like the whole week passed me by in a daze. I sort of floated through each day barely eating more than one meal and spending a lot of time in reflection. I have been forced to admit that it is grief and sorrow that haunts me. I knew that I was sad, but I never expected the loss of a pet to be so traumatic.

On the 15th of March we lost our family dog, Cali, after ten years. We spent a lot of time deciding on the “right” dog for our family and she was a perfect fit; calm with the boys when they were small and protective too. About four years ago I knew that she was not getting the activity and attention she needed in our home. Those before mentioned schedules took too much of our time, so we made the difficult decision to have her live with the Grandparents. Although not ideal, she now had another dog to play with and we were still able to visit with her. It never ceased to amaze me how Cali never forgot us, always greeting us with joy and excitement. It was extremely hard to hear that she was losing her fight and passed a few days later.

The reality of losing Cali only brought home the fact that we would soon be losing Rain, our cat of eighteen years. We had expected that he would pass a few times over the years. He was slow to move, losing weight, hearing and sight were also diminishing, but he would rally and prove us all wrong. Chasing birds outside, play fighting with the other house-cats, and demanding of food. However, Rain did start spending more time sleeping in isolation and I told the kids to say their goodbyes before they left for the week. On Monday, the 26th, I was forced to call the kids to give their last words of love, as I held Rain while he took his final breath.

We have lost pets before, which is why I never imagined that this would be as painful but having Rain before I even had children has made it different. His presence is noticeably missing in the house. I have even caught myself looking for him when I feed the other cats or when closing up at night, making sure he isn’t left outside. He was there to purr and settle my spirit when writers block would take over. I depended on him in a way I never realized until he was no longer here. I have heard many refer to their pets as fur babies and I understand that concept better now, but for me, Rain was more of a best friend and confidant, we really grew up together, raised the kids together.

I haven’t yet shed tears over this loss, even without the children here, I am so use to being strong for them that I push all my feelings over a situation away. I am sure that is not healthy, or the “right” way to process emotions, but that is what this post is essentially for. There is no right or wrong way in how people deal with tragic events, I didn’t even bother to share my pet’s passing on facebook, until I decided that it really is words of heart, mind, and soul. I admit that I am deeply hurt and expect that I will be crying right alongside my kids when we put Rain to rest. We have had kitten burials, a dramatic fish funeral, I think there was even one for an ant farm, but this will be one that stays with all of us. A pet that will never be forgotten, a real member of our family. We love you Rain!

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First Day of Spring

Published by Autumn Brooke on March 21, 2018

I have not written a blog in quite a while so it seems fitting that I would choose to write today, the first day of Spring.  I have a few times that I wrote about the rain, or even my own name in relation to the season itself, but Spring is my favorite time of the year. There is something so refreshing about the way that the earth has its own rebirth, making all seem fresh and new. We feel it so much as individuals, that we too, have a Spring Cleaning ritual, the talk of Summer coming and needing to renew our gym association for those upcoming bathing suit days. Be it our homes, our bodies, or our lives, the world takes on the importance of washing away the old and preparing for the new. This is important for all of us, although I don’t know that we always realize it. We take part in it for New Year Resolutions but many find those cliche, I admit that I don’t make New Years resolutions but we all unknowingly participate in the beginning of Spring.

For many it may be unintentional but we all need a chance to change or reevaluate what didn’t work the past year and start anew. The changing of the season with all its new growth helps us to do that, although many unfortunately don’t take notice of their surroundings. The beauty in our every day life that truly makes us who we are, but with such undeserved recognition. I need to spend moments outside everyday, I thrive off the sights and smell of nature. I make sure that my children spend at least 30-60 minutes outside each day, longer when the weather is warmer. I hope that they will grow to love it as I do and share the inspiration with those around them.

Today I woke to the sound of rain and although I love the rain, I was initially saddened. It seems that winter is lasting a little longer this year and I miss my warm, sunny days.  Taking a moment to enjoy the freshly washed black top and listen to the droplets fall from the leaves of the tree, I could see the buds on the branches that need the water to bloom; to look like the tree across the street with the many white blossoms glistening like snowflakes against the deep blue in the sky. Next to it was the tree that I swear looked bare yesterday but now was a radiant green with new leaves adorning its stems. My grass was deeper, the soil darker for the flowers I know are to come in the next few weeks.

We have the benefit of spending each day living in an ever changing painting of life and we too, as people need to remember that our own lives are not singular but part of a constant fluidity that makes the world go round. Don’t let any moment of the beauty of the world, others or yourself pass you by.  Spring is just the beginning!

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All’s Not Lost

Published by Autumn Brooke on January 26, 2018

The rain falling across the window pane matched the tears in her heart. She refused to actually cry and let teardrops fall from her eyes, but she felt them all the same. The harsh cruel words repeating over and over, it was impossible to erase them from her mind. It was painful but she needed to grieve for what was and what could have been and then let it go. It wasn’t easy, but nothing worth achieving ever is, or so they say. This wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last but she refused to go down this dark road again, it wasn’t healthy. She almost didn’t make it back the last time. Shaking her head to try to clear the negativity she forced herself to get up. A silent scream of “Just Move” took over her being. Go for a walk in the rain, meet the kids at the bus stop, knock on the neighbor’s door and see if she would like some coffee. Do something, anything, she begged herself but it was of no use. She watched herself sit there staring as the rain washed down the glass. It was as if she was trapped inside her own body, the feelings of hurt, guilt, worthlessness weighing her down in a bed of nothingness. She was trying so hard to free herself from the mental chains but they were too heavy.  Her children came home from school, excitedly talking about the events of the day and she acknowledged them with vacant eyes.  She eventually did move, but more as a robot, following the routine of making dinner for her family, greeting her husband, allowing herself to become lost within her own mind. As the days passed the silent scream for help grew dim as those closest to her were unaware that she was trapped in a mental prison. Retreating behind a wall of fake smiles, empty hugs, and meaningless words became normal, as did the tears flooding her heart. 

Maybe some of you can relate to this story from personal experience or you recognize some of the signs in a friend or family member.  Depression is a serious mental health issue that can lead to suicide in 1 out of 10 people.  It is often not recognized by many as the person doesn’t appear sick and may even seem social to most, however, that isn’t always the case day by day or hour by hour. Depression doesn’t discriminate by race, gender, or age but you can make a difference. Be actively involved if you suspect that someone might be struggling and find them help before it’s too late. Be kind, gentle, and supportive because what they feel is very real and your words or your presence may be all they need at that moment.

“You can #BeThe1 To help someone in crisis. You don’t have to be a mental health professional to help someone in your life that may be struggling. Learn the Lifeline’s 5 steps that you can use to help a loved one that may be in crisis.” http://www.bethe1to.com

“The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We’re committed to improving crisis services and advancing suicide prevention by empowering individuals, advancing professional best practices, and building awareness.”  https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org  or Call 1-800-273-8255

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Soul Resolution

Published by Autumn Brooke on January 4, 2018

With the New Year upon us many people find themselves making a resolution to better themselves.  We’ve all read them, we’ve all made them and most have broken them.  Eat Healthier, Exercise, Quit Smoking, Make More Money, Save More Money, Spend More Family Time…… the list goes on.  Trying to be a better person for ourselves or our loved ones is essentially the goal, but I challenge that in order to fully maintain these lifestyle changes one needs to Impress, Accept, and Love Yourself.  Give credit for your accomplishments, such as achieving certain life goals but realize that the happiness in that milestone achievement is not sustainable, because in order to feel fulfilled we need to progress. This means a lifetime of constantly learning, growing, and changing. Daily Self Improvement so that we may become the best version of ourselves.  It is when we are really focused on our-self that we find are true potential and it is only then that we can give of ourselves to help better others.  I use a hashtag in most of my posts; #BeInpiredtoInspire, if I am not positive, motivated, inspired then I am unable to bring those attributes into the lives of others.  My desire is to be my best self as a model for my children and encourage them in all aspects of their life. It is the simple Law of Attraction, good brings good, so Refresh, Recharge, Refocus on You and make a Soul Resolution for ME Time, your Future Self will Thank You.  Water Your Soul and make all 365 days count!

 

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Our Truest Life

Published by Autumn Brooke on December 27, 2017

“Our truest life is when we are in dreams… Awake.”

I heard this quote by Henry David Thoreau just the other day and couldn’t help but ponder on how brilliant a statement it was and wonder why we, society, fail to realize how truly “good” life really is.  We are headed into the New Year of 2018, so like most I am reflective as well as focused on the future.  I would like to say that this year has been unusual for me, but I tend to live my life on the road less traveled; however, I can admit that this was an unexpected Christmas.  I was not focused on the holiday because my boys were going to be with their father this year, until 3 days before Christmas and plans changed.  I was rushing around like a crazy lady, trying to create Christmas Magic in our home to give a memory to remember.  What I failed to realize was that I was so focused on the commercial aspect that I didn’t stop to give real meaning to the day.  Please don’t misunderstand, I only gave the boys two gifts each and the continual reminder of why we celebrate Christmas, but as a mother, in not planning on them being here with me, I felt stressed and uneasy on not being prepared.  (It’s a Mommy thing) Christmas came and went, the boys seemed to be grateful and happy.

The feelings for me have carried over as we prepare to celebrate the upcoming New Year.   Always a difficult time of the year because my cousin, Sarah, passed on that witching hour, what I have come to realize was 5 years ago.  She holds a special place in my heart as my first girl cousin, and we had recently began to reconnect as I made plans to move back to Fresno that same year.  She was too young, too beautiful, and her children are only raised by the great memories we share so that they may know and remember their mother.  Then I think on my mother that passed a short year later and how I was blessed with having her for my entire childhood.  This weighs heavy on my heart and then I read through social media to find friends suffering the same burdens.  Many are grieving for past loved ones, some fresh and new.  The hands of time do not stop for the holidays, life is an unexpected blessing and we need to cherish it as such.

This brings me back to the quote.  Our Truest Life…. I love that word True.  What is it that makes or gives you, your truest life?  For me it would be Love.  I fail in so many ways every day, but as long as I can put my sons to bed knowing that they feel secure in my love, then I feel accomplished.  Certainly, I want to provide more for them; to Live our Dream, Awake, but until that day, I need to learn to Cherish Every Moment.  To quit focusing on the details, to see that every minute I spend stressing the small stuff, they are growing older and days are passing me by.

With this New Year, I want to make a Resolution or an Affirmation, that I will See the Bigger Picture, Focus on the Dream, but take Time in the Moments!  If I only live for a brighter future, I may miss the journey it took to get there and that is really where the greatness lies.  For these boys, I am their world and for some reason, I never understood what a true blessing that is….. I always felt that this responsibility was often an overwhelming burden more then blessing.  Some may read that and find me callous and shallow, but I also know that there are plenty of mothers for which that statement will ring true.

For 2018, I challenge each of us to take on our burdens and bare them as blessings.  To achieve our dreams wide awake, so that each day may be joy unto itself.  Take pleasure in all things, big or small, positive or negative…..  because in this life the only thing certain is the uncertainty of each day.  It can always be better or it can always be worse…. Essentially it is what you make it, so make it the best it can be!

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Gift of Life

Published by Autumn Brooke on October 3, 2017

In the last few weeks we have been suffering with multiple tragedies as a Nation, many disastrous events in our own Country.  For some of you these were literally in your own backyard, or like me, you had loved ones that were affected or involved so it hits closer to home.  I had friends trapped by the flooding in Texas during Hurricane Harvey, and family in Florida forced to endure days without power during Hurricane Irma.  My Aunt and Uncle were among the mass of people at the Route 91 concert in Las Vegas, fortunate to escape.  I am grateful that everyone I know personally is safe by all accounts in all these situations; however there are many victims and families of victim’s still enduring loss, fear, pain.  Scrolling through social media the posts were at first full of shock and wonder at how the world could be so evil, but quickly escalated to an uprising in anger, judgment and condemnation.  Close friends are literally posting hateful posts with words like “Delete Me, If you don’t like my Opinion” and/or the equivocal “Our opinions differ; I am right so you must be wrong!”  Or a few have gone on a rant, spewing expletives and casting blame, all which is unnecessary.  Instead of coming together as a people, we divide, taking sides in a controversy that will never be won.  Political Agendas, Conspiracy Theories, Protests for Social Injustice, and a fight for Amendment Rights has caused such a rift amongst friends, brothers, co-workers, that  we are literally creating the groundwork for another civil war.  The animosity tears at my soul so that I actively seek out the good to balance myself, to restore my hope in humanity.  Let the benevolence of the helpers, professional or community driven, outweigh the disheartened.  Take comfort in the patience of those that stood in line for hours to donate blood for the victims. Literally giving the Gift of Life, because when it comes right down to it, WE ALL BLEED THE SAME BLOOD!  When donating or receiving there is no box to check for race, ethnicity, nationality, or political affiliation.  We are simply a Blood Type and all humans share that common factor.  Our world is built on diversity and inclusion, meaning differences and embracement; it is why we are proud to be Americans. Yes, there are race relations and social justices, all deserving of their own discussion, but for now, let’s learn how to embrace our diversion with dignity.  In the wake of the horrific events that are still unfolding, let us be kind to one another.  Mr. Rogers says it best, “It’s very dramatic when two people come together to work something out. It’s easy to take a gun and annihilate your opposition, but what is really exciting to me is to see people with differing views come together and finally respect each other.”

― Fred Rogers, The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember

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Neverending Journey

Published by Autumn Brooke on May 28, 2017

Do any of us actually reach our final destination?  I hope not, as even in our passing or final resting place, I can only hope that our purpose will continue to live on and inspire others.  As we come into Memorial Day Weekend and I think of our fallen men and women that have given their lives for our country, I can only find it fitting that today is the 81st Anniversary of the RMS Queen Mary’s first international crossing from Southampton to New York.  A year ago, I shared my amazing experience as a guest for her 80th Anniversary Celebration of this iconic maiden voyage and this blog is inspired by the social media posts that I am seeing to remind me of such a glorious weekend.

However, my viewpoint of this day, this weekend is more vast then I originally ever credited and I feel the need to share my thoughts with you.  This ship holds a special place in my heart for many reasons and in getting to know her, I most admire her service to this country during WWII.  In my research, I agree with Sir Winston Churchill that laid claim to his opinion that had it not been for her continued transports of troops we may not have won that war.  This December will be the 50th anniversary of Queen Mary’s final docking in Long Beach, Calif.

However, I do not find this to be her final destination because her journey continues in educating the masses in world history.  She unfortunately had the military honor of bringing men that may not have been able to walk themselves down the gangplank as they reached home soil, but their story was not over….. for their final destination gave birth to a story to be told for history.  Their lives mattered, so much so that we continue to celebrate their lives and sacrifice today.

The books and movies that we read or view don’t give justice to all that they encountered, but they do give us hope and should encourage us to strive for greatness in all that we do.  In actuality what comes to my mind is the Core Values that were instilled within me as a member of our Armed Forces and I hope to Inspire in Others …Integrity first, Service before self, and Excellence in all we do. These are the Air Force Core Values.

What it breaks down to is that the journey is never over.  Little by little, Step by step, Move forward, Always move forward……  Reach that Goal, That Destination, but don’t ever stop, for once you recognize that the Journey is never over… you will realize that it was never about you in the first place.  Our lives exist for our future generations.  Leave a good Legacy and appreciate the lives that have journeyed before you.

My mission is to Fly, Fight, and Win. I am faithful to a Proud Heritage, A Tradition of Honor, And a Legacy of Valor. I am an American Airman. Guardian of Freedom and Justice, My Nation’s Sword and Shield, Its Sentry and Avenger.

airman’s creed – AF.mil

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