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Tag: #BeKind

All’s Not Lost

The rain falling across the window pane matched the tears in her heart. She refused to actually cry and let teardrops fall from her eyes, but she felt them all the same. The harsh cruel words repeating over and over, it was impossible to erase them from her mind. It was painful but she needed to grieve for what was and what could have been and then let it go. It wasn’t easy, but nothing worth achieving ever is, or so they say. This wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last but she refused to go down this dark road again, it wasn’t healthy. She almost didn’t make it back the last time. Shaking her head to try to clear the negativity she forced herself to get up. A silent scream of “Just Move” took over her being. Go for a walk in the rain, meet the kids at the bus stop, knock on the neighbor’s door and see if she would like some coffee. Do something, anything, she begged herself but it was of no use. She watched herself sit there staring as the rain washed down the glass. It was as if she was trapped inside her own body, the feelings of hurt, guilt, worthlessness weighing her down in a bed of nothingness. She was trying so hard to free herself from the mental chains but they were too heavy.  Her children came home from school, excitedly talking about the events of the day and she acknowledged them with vacant eyes.  She eventually did move, but more as a robot, following the routine of making dinner for her family, greeting her husband, allowing herself to become lost within her own mind. As the days passed the silent scream for help grew dim as those closest to her were unaware that she was trapped in a mental prison. Retreating behind a wall of fake smiles, empty hugs, and meaningless words became normal, as did the tears flooding her heart. 

Maybe some of you can relate to this story from personal experience or you recognize some of the signs in a friend or family member.  Depression is a serious mental health issue that can lead to suicide in 1 out of 10 people.  It is often not recognized by many as the person doesn’t appear sick and may even seem social to most, however, that isn’t always the case day by day or hour by hour. Depression doesn’t discriminate by race, gender, or age but you can make a difference. Be actively involved if you suspect that someone might be struggling and find them help before it’s too late. Be kind, gentle, and supportive because what they feel is very real and your words or your presence may be all they need at that moment.

“You can #BeThe1 To help someone in crisis. You don’t have to be a mental health professional to help someone in your life that may be struggling. Learn the Lifeline’s 5 steps that you can use to help a loved one that may be in crisis.” http://www.bethe1to.com

“The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We’re committed to improving crisis services and advancing suicide prevention by empowering individuals, advancing professional best practices, and building awareness.”  https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org  or Call 1-800-273-8255

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Our Own Worst Critic

I have become a fan of the show Z: The Beginning of Everythinga biography based series about the life of Zelda Fitzgerald.  (Season 1 is available on Amazon)  Recently I watched an episode where after receiving a negative review, F. Scott Fitzgerald is told by the critic, “Don’t take it so personal, I was reviewing your book, not you.”  As a writer, I felt stabbed in the heart when I heard those words, only thinking to myself how impossible it was to not take a review personal.  How ignorant the critic was to not know that most writers, most artists, pour themselves heart and soul into their work.  It is often difficult to separate one from the other.   On my Author Facebook page I even write that “I strongly believe that when you know an author, that you have a deeper understanding of their words and the meaning behind them.”  This is because somewhere even if it is in the depths of the unsaid, there is a part of the author within the words.

I felt plagued by this scene for a few days, but I know that I tend to be overly sensitive so I did my best to let it go. Until I felt the same stab to the heart in a scene of, my now favorite show on TV, This is Us.  (Seriously, if you haven’t seen this show, please do.  The extraordinary writing is only made greater by the amazing chemistry between the cast members.  I can’t get enough of it, honestly considered writing a blog just to sing their praises!)

 But, back to the point of today’s actual blog…..  There was a scene where the acting brother seeks a top critic to review a play that he is starring in and producing, only to be told that the critic considered showing up to witness the disaster of a sitcom TV actor trying to cross over into the drama of play acting.   The statement was so callous and mean, and most of all unnecessary.  There was another scene in this same show, this past week, where the mother is trying to break into becoming a professional singer.  Her friends are supportive of her “Singing Thing,” but think it would be wise that she keep her options open since the percentage of “Making It Big” are so slim and not everyone can live by pursuing their dream.

Yes, I know that her friends were just being realistic and Yes, I know that it is the job of a Critic to be critical.  It is a harsh business and why it is said that the most important thing is to develop a tough skin or you will never make it.  I guess, I just want to say that although some reviews are negative, they are helpful when given as constructive criticism.  And to the friends that are really only trying to be helpful with their sage advice, remember that there is a reason most artists choose to suffer or go without when pursuing their dream….. they can’t not at least TRY!  Knowing that if you fail, you did so having given your best shot and hopefully having fun along the way.

So, the next time that you are judging the work of a creative just try to remember that an Artist is usually their own worst critic, so Be Kind.  It is not only a writing, or picture, or performance but it is most likely a piece of their Heart!

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